If that was your dad, he is hot
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
