Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
