giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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