i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
