Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i believe in u and ur pee
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