I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
worst night to have a conscience
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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