White coat. Heels.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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