I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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