He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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