he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
