i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
