i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
