New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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