The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Text me some of your sweat
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