Can Purell be used as lube?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
