He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
