Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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