I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
