God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
