I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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