note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
