He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
