My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
