dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
