a search helicopter?!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
