Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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