My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
