he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize