Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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