he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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