that's an acceptable place to lick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize