I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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