even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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