I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
