you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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