Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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