M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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