wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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