I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
