do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
