Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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