I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize