party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My balls are so social today.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize