bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
