I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
