Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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