I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
