how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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