I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
