I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
