I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
