I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
