This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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