you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
