her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize