I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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