pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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