The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
found the other keg... it's in the tree
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
