Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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