this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
