Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
