i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
