i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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