I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
