did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
