I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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