Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize