dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
