Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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