Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
