Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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