Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize