Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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