I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wannas sexs uuuuu
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
