i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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