so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize