the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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